Illusions - A fresh perspective

Illusions- The adventures of a reluctant Meesiah by Richard Bach .  I remember vividly that it was either one of our English teachers or a friend who introduced us to this book way back in college. I read it then and really liked his experiences and the way he wrote down some hard hitting facts of life . For me it was one of those books that was for keeps and it always remained close to me.

It was not until few days back that I saw the book again in a corner of my room and began reading it again after some 20 or more odd years later. This time however, it hit me really hard and it was as if every word mentioned in the handbook of the story was written for me. It was just about a month after I lost my son to an illness, when I didn’t feel like doing anything and almost did it to please my family and friends. Holding this book and reading it once again was like a message from my Messiah - my son Advay who was trying to tell me something.

“ There’s no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts”.  Advay came to us like a God given gift and our journey together completely changed our perspectives in life and this sentence was a reminder no. One to it.  “ Happiness is a choice and it’s not always an easy one.” Advay made it very easy for us to be happy because he remained that way. Pain was always a moment for him and once it subdued for a while he would be infectiously happy.

“ If you really want to remove a cloud from your life, you do not make a big production out of it. Just relax and remove it from your thinking.” This is Not easier said than done because we have seen him doing this each time effortlessly.

And finally the most profound for me this time is “ Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again after moments of lifetimes , is certain for those who are friends.”  There are so many such wonderful thoughts mentioned in the book that I were to mention the best of it, this blog could run into a series. 

Thus as Richard back quotes in his preface, I choose to think that my Messiah is perched out there on some other dimension, not fiction at all, watching us , and laughing for the fun of it happening just the way we’ve planned it to be.

Love you Adu.

“”

Day 3 - Mahakaleshwar & Chappan Dukan

Our day trip to Omkareshwar and Maheshwar was quite exploratory and consuming at the same time. We reached the hotel in the late evening and since we had taken a late lunch , I planned to skip the dinner and immediately hit the bed for an early slumber . The Jr. Cutlet however had some dose of energy left ( I have no idea from where does she derive it from) . She wanted to have some mumma - daughter fun talks and I didn’t realize as to when I fell deep asleep during the conversation.

The next day as promised to the Jr. Cutlet , I let her sleep for a little more time in the morning. Today was going to be a relatively relaxed day since I had planned Ujjain . The distance between two towns is just 54 kms and according to Gorakhnathji, the roads were pretty smooth , hence it would be a quick drive. The one and only most popular and sacred destination in Ujjain is Mahakaleshwar temple. It wasn't listed in my initial itenary, however my Dad insisted that I visit it since it would an experience in itself and how right he was. While I wasn't sure if the Jr. Cutlet would be up for another temple visit, considering the chaos and crowd all popular shrines in India have. But she continues to surprise me each time and all ready she was for yet another experience.

My dad has completed his post graduation in Mathematics from the Ujjain University and a visit to the Mahakaleshwar was one of his weekly Monday routine. Therefore this day trip was for him. Mahakaleshwar is considered to be one of the 12 Jyotirlingas, shrines that are said to be the most sacred abodes of Lord Shiva. The idol of Mahakaleshwar is known to be dakshinamukhi, which means that it is facing the south. This is a unique feature, upheld by the tantric shivnetra tradition to be found only in Mahakaleshwar among the 12 Jyotirlingas. It is situated on the banks of holy river Shipra. The temple complex was destroyed by Sultan Shams-ud-din during his raid of Ujjain in the 12th century. The Maratha Empire regime rebuilt it in the early 18th century.

One of the main attractions in Mahakaleshwar other than the temple is the brand new 900 meter long corridor built by both the central and state governments . The objective was to redevelop the holy shrine and make it a global tourist destination. And I have to admit they have done a wonderful job. You will see atleast 200 statues , murals and stambhs together that display stories and myths about Shiva in scriptures. My personal favorite is that of Samudra Manthan . It is almost impossible to capture the entire complex in a camera lens. One needs to visit it for a first hand experience. We went there during day time, but according to few locals there, it looks the best during night time with the colorful fountains and the light display. 

We had a very quick and contented darshan of the Jyotirlinga. The Jr. Cutlet looked happy too. Once we finished Mahakaleshwar , we went to the Ujjain University ( he post graduated from there in 1960's) to give my dad a surprise. I gave him a quick virtual tour of his Alma Mater and his joy of revisiting it , is something that I cannot explain. Thus we left back from Ujjain on our way back to Indore to explore a yet another gastronomical journey called the Chappan Dukan. Accordong to the Jr. Cutlet, its time Mumbai gets one such place where people can experience various kinds of street foods , music without any vehicular disturbance. Johnny Hot dog, Sam's momos, Kachori chaat from Vijay , Garadu chaat , Coconut crush and so much more is what Chappan Dukan offers. I also packed some yummy Namkeen from Agarwals to take back home.

Indore and its surrounding areas offer not only a mix of great history , culture and food but also the most hospitable locals that I have ever met. The city is absolutely safe at any time of the day and night . Both of us would easily explore Sarafa Bazaar and Chappan Dukan during late nights without any hesitation. The entire trip made me realize that creating memories through these small experiences , getting to learn from every new person you meet is something I plan to do hereon. Therefore when Travel is good for you Soul, Experiences are necessary for your growth. Finally I wish finish my blog series here with yet another thought " Investment in Travel is Investment in Yourself". 

Day 2 - Omkareshwar & Maheshwar

After a late night wrap up at the Sarafa Night Market yesterday, I thought that the Jr. Cutlet will be less interested in waking up early and getting ready quickly for a full day trip to the Omkareshwar and Maheshwar. However she proved me completely wrong. She woke up without any snoozing and there we were all ready in an hour’s time.

Omkareshwar is about 70 kms from Indore with poor quality of roads , Maheshwar is about 65 kms from Onkareshwar and finally Indore is about 90 kms from Maheshwar on the way back. I had done this research prior , hence was aware that we needed to have an early start in the morning. I had promised the Jr. Cutlet a late sleepy morning the next day, but looks like she wasn’t complaining at all. 

After quite a bumpy ride , we reached Omkareshwar in one piece. Omkareshwar was on my bucket list for a long time and I’m glad that I could tick that off . Its one of the 12 Jyotirlingas of the Lord Shiva built in 1820. It is surrounded by hills and adorned by river Narmada. The island is in the shape of Om. On completion of the most sacred pilgrimage Narmada Parikrama that consists of covering about 4000 kms on foot , the pilgrims have to come to Onkareshwar to offer the holy water to the Jyotirlinga. Inexperienced to the typical crowded and noisy environment of popular temples , the Jr. Cutlet looked a little flustered and uncomfortable. Finally once we finished our darshan to my heart’s content , we headed for Maheshwar.

Maheshwar is a beautiful small place situated on the banks of river Narmada. It has special mentions in the epics Ramayan and Mahabharat. However , I was more interested in visiting the rich culture and history that was created by Devi Ahilyabai Holkar in the 18th century. She was indeed a noble queen of the Holkar dynasty. After the death of her husband in a battle, when she was ready to go Sati, her father in law Malhar Rao Holkar forbade her from doing it and instead encouraged her to take hold the reigns of the empire and the rest is history. She rebuilt and resurrected some of very significant Hindu pilgrimages across India that had been demolished by Aurangzeb. She was considered to one of the most just rulers of her time . I spoke to some of the locals in Maheshwar and they worship her in these times too. 

The fort and her residence is full of interesting stories, however what we loved the most was those few moments we spent in solitude on banks of river Narmada. Its magnitude and solace is something that I cannot express and couldn’t capture it in the photos. After a quick meal , we visited the handlooms of Maheshwari sarees. Kudos to the skilled workers for their talent and patience. One saree takes about 2-3 days to be made. We shopped for few sarees and headed back to Indore.

While I narrate this experience to you today, I am reminded of my conversations with the skilled workers . They get paid peanuts for doing such a skilled job and some of them have been doing for almost 35 years. Yet they mentioned that they were content and counted their blessings to be living next to Narmada. That leaves me with the thought that “  True contentment is not having everything, but in being satisfied with everything you have .”  Time for yet another day of travel and fun.

Day 1 - Enthu Cutlets on Indore Trail

 Day 1 - Indore ki galliyon main

Life had been a complete grind for most of us at home. Waking up everyday day to the same routine and sleeping off to the same pattern makes you realise that you need to break this regime, get out of the clutter and get into a new groove even if its for a short duration. 

With this purpose in mind, we decided to give the Jr. Cutlet and myself a brand new short holiday. Keeping in mind the challenges at home and her busy college and other schedules, we had to choose a destination that could be covered in 4 days yet be fun filled and enriching. We researched a lot of places within India until one fine day my friend Sonali mentioned about her wonderful short trip to Indore with her friends .

After a lot of research, reading and discussions with Sonali , Indore IT WAS. Initially it looked liked an off beat place that wasn’t so much a commercial tourist spot, yet we decided to go and swim against the tide. We reached Indore in the early morning and after a quick hotel check in , we had planned day 1, for local Indore sightseeing. The enthusiasm of the Jr. Cutlet was at the peak by now. Our car driver cum local guide Gorakhnathji looked like an enthu cutlet himself and he gave hands down info about every place. We did our Shree Ganesh with Khajrana Ganesh temple , that has been built in 1735 by Her Highness Devi Ahilyabai Holkar herself. She found the murti hidden near a well to be protected from the Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb and went on to build a small temple that got developed into a huge premise and shrine in Indore.

Gorakhnathji recommended us to visit the Indore Zoo. I could see the child in Jr. Cutlet insisting on it and I reluctantly agreed. Watching caged wildlife is not my type however , yet again I couldn’t deny looking at her enthusiasm . Spread across 51 acres , this place is a sprawling one with approximately 60 species like White Tiger, Bengal tigers, Black buck. We saw few endangered species too. After a long walk of almost 3-4 kms we were getting hungry and tired too. A quick meal of Daal Bafle ( its a must) and we were ready to roll. We later visited the Lalbagh palace, the official residence of the Holkar Maharajas in the 18th and 19th century, Annapurna temple and finally the lovely Pitreahwar Parbat. 

With the feet crying in pain , we decided to retire for sometime at the hotel before hitting the yummy Sarafa night bazaar. Thronged with people , with aromas of different food items , vendors calling people to their stalls exercising their vocal chords and the yummiest dahi bade, chole tikki, butte ka kees, jalebi rabri is what Sarafa Night Market all about. 

Fatigued yet content is what we are today. And as I retire for a good night slumber, I will leave you with this thought . “ If you are looking for a breakthrough , try breaking your routine  .”

Shenta – Is Immortal to Us

Exactly a month back , was a fine Thursday morning that was full of energy and life in the kitchen and generally between all of us . It was one of those days of the Devi Navratri that we celebrate at home with all of the Puja rituals and special food as offerings to The Almighty. The Covid Lockdown and Unlocks had almost crippled the entire personal and professional lives of everyone including our family. This Navratri (usually gets celebrated at my co-sister’s place in Pune every year) was like a ray of sunshine in our lives.

Unfortunatley , that is how it was not meant to be. That afternoon , my mother in law whom we fondly called as Shenta Aai (my phonebook also saves her number as that ), left us because of a massive cardiac arrest. And it just took 10 minutes to turn our world topsyturvey. From that day on everytime I have decided to write about her , I can barely manage to go beyond few lines. And while I look back , 17 years since I got married into this family , having spent a lot of time with her , especially the last 8 years, this is not how she would want me to remember her. And having said that , I therefore wish to recall her Best Times , Best Qualities , basically Shenta at her best. ( we as a family address our parents with their first names. While I always called my Mom ‘Veena’ , Shenta was a word coined by my niece because she couldn’t pronounce her name ‘Snehalata’ correctly)

So what was Shenta to Us.

1. A born teacher : While a lot in my family have narrated stories about her life as a teacher , she remained a teacher till her last breath. When I got married , my mother was extremely worried about my cooking skills and had alerted Shenta about this. Without being fussy about it, she assured my mother that she would teach me everything and she did so, using all her patience . That also included giving me a pat on the back when I did great and a smack when I faltered. Her only message to me was that in an era when we can afford to have cooks, you still need to be indpenedent, know your stuff and be self reliant.
2. An ambitious lady : During my interactions with her, she always harboured ambitions for each one of us including herself. She kept a tab on our annual incentives and promotions at work and whenever we got accolades at work , she made it viral in her very own ways, so much so forth that sometimes we had to put a control on her marketing efforts. She was dissapointed when I had to quit my job and was happy at the same time when I decided to start learning again. She was extremely ambitious about Ananya too and infact taught her Hindi till the last breath. In her good old days , when she was part of a bhajan mandal at an instutution , I remember her memorising those bhajans at home again and again since she had a reherseal the next day.
3. Never say Never : In so many years since the time , she had to undergo multiple and painful hospitalisations , never ever did she lose hope or was pessimistic about any condition of hers. Everytime she came home discharged from the hospital , she’d want to get back to her routine or atleast try to get back on her feet. Even during the highs and lows in our life, she was like a glimmer of postivity around us. I still rememeber her saying “One should never lose faith in The Almighty and always keep hope. Crying doesn’t solve any problems. Tears are always a hindrance to your psoitivity.”
4. A True Leader : There are so many more qualities that could be listed , for instance, she always beleived in maintaining relationships , not just with immediate family , but also with her extended family and her well wishers. That’s exactly why we always had her relatives , well wishers, friends coming over to meet her , greet her and she always found occassions to call them over. Most of all , she always led her team from the front. And ensured all of us fell in line 

A month after a demise and we still continue to feel her presence in the house. We still remember the funny conversations she always had with her children and her grandchildren that make us laugh. The enthusiasm , the aura , the halo , the smacking , the patting will continue to be part of our lives no matter what.

For me , Shenta is officially now our Senior Enthu Cutlet………………

Unleash Those Dragons Within

As everyone celebrates and basks in the glory of the International Women's Day today, I will try and delve into an significant aspect of our life that keeps hovering into our very own sub-conscience all the time. I have experienced, I do experience these all the time and my only effort is to keep facing them and letting them know that I will always be prepared to fight whenever need be.

Every morning , as soon as you wake up , your mind runs you through a multiple array of tasks you ought to accomplish . Most of the times ,it also throws across those Dragons that I call The Known and the Possibilty of the Unknown Fears .Ofcourse their gravity and the frequency depends on the nature of the challenges that each one faces in their life. And while each one of us is absolutely aware of those fears within us , we choose to bury them deep inside or push them aside into one corner of our mind so as to avoid them. I did that and do that like each one of you all the time. And as and when the degree of challenges increased , the frequency of fears increased and with them increased ways and means to avoid them . There were various superstitions or relative facts that I thought would keep those fears at bay. However these antics only brought more fears and more superstitious beliefs back into my life. It looked as if they were multiplying instead of getting subtracted . The most dangerous Dragon being The Fear of the Unknown. The thought that there is a possibilty of  some challenge that will crop up somewhere in the near future that I will not be able to tackle was My Fear of the Unknown (in simple words). It was loaded with prejudices and engulfed with layers of emotions and negativity.

Gradually I realised that these dragons brought out the worst in me and I wasn't very pleased with that ME. Thus one day , and trust me it just dawns and strikes one day, I decided to face the Dragons. It is no rocket science and all you need to do is Stop being in Denial, Understand those Fears, Converse with them, Ride with them and finally Accept them . Once you follow these, they gradually begin to diminish from within. It is not a one time process and you need to revisit and do this again and again. Once you get your hands on it, there's no contentment as fulfilling as this.

International Women's Day today will serve a good cause for You to start unleashing those Dragons and bid them farewell. Because As Napolean Bonapart puts it " The only conquests that are permanent and leave no regrets are our conquests over ourselves."

Our Multifaceted Bro-Dada

"We need to meet Yogesh and Pallavi today evening . Try and wrap your work early.I will pick you." This was an early morning conversation Nimish and I had (ofcourse in Marathi) few days after we had decided to get married . While I had met almost everyone from his family, I was yet to meet his brother and his wife. While they were changing homes from Bangalore to Pune, they were supposed to be in Mumbai for sometime and therefore they decided to meet. All this while I had heard so many things about them from my to be -MIL and Nimish, that I was extremely keen to meet them. Most of the times in such cases , you tend to make a mental profile of people whom are curious to meet , especially when they will be your future in laws.

And many of such times, you go worng with such profiles . However I have to admit , I was bang on with my profiles that I had created for Yogesh and Pallavi. Infact they were much more warm than I actually thought. In such cases where one can easily try to be powerful or even rag , they made comfortable from the 1st minute that we met. And I as I got to know them gradually, I began to experience various facets or dimensions of Yogesh's personality. He was an aggressive corporate honcho who took his work damn seriously , he was a husband totally in love in with his wife as if they were just married , even after 7-8 years of marriage, he was a father who pampered his daughter silly but also ensured she obeyed everyone in the house, he was a doting son totally in control of what was happening in his parent's life inspite of living in a different city and he was less of a brother and more of friend to his siblings , whose chemistry I had never seen before. And here I was adding another relationship dimension to his personality. We hit off so well that in no time , I started tying him Rakhi and taking blessings on Bhau- Bheej. Our realtion graduated from him being my brother-in law to Brother and thus became my Bro- Dada.

One of the aspects of Yogesh's multifaceted personality that I love he is extremely honest about certain pinciples and values that he follows and he doesn't compromise on them in whatever circumstances. Also those who don't know him personally should know that he is a great orator, so much that he can actually inspire and also infleunce people to move in the right direction. He has a bag full of interesting and valuable real life stories and incidents to narrate which I am sure , he must be using in his coaching sessions.

Today when he crosses over his mid-century in life , he has a wide experience to share and has been an excellent role model to all of us. May this journey bring new successes , warm memories, loving experiences and a long healthy life.

Onwards and Upwards only Yogesh .

Happy Happy Happiest Birthday Dada