Shenta – Is Immortal to Us

Exactly a month back , was a fine Thursday morning that was full of energy and life in the kitchen and generally between all of us . It was one of those days of the Devi Navratri that we celebrate at home with all of the Puja rituals and special food as offerings to The Almighty. The Covid Lockdown and Unlocks had almost crippled the entire personal and professional lives of everyone including our family. This Navratri (usually gets celebrated at my co-sister’s place in Pune every year) was like a ray of sunshine in our lives.

Unfortunatley , that is how it was not meant to be. That afternoon , my mother in law whom we fondly called as Shenta Aai (my phonebook also saves her number as that ), left us because of a massive cardiac arrest. And it just took 10 minutes to turn our world topsyturvey. From that day on everytime I have decided to write about her , I can barely manage to go beyond few lines. And while I look back , 17 years since I got married into this family , having spent a lot of time with her , especially the last 8 years, this is not how she would want me to remember her. And having said that , I therefore wish to recall her Best Times , Best Qualities , basically Shenta at her best. ( we as a family address our parents with their first names. While I always called my Mom ‘Veena’ , Shenta was a word coined by my niece because she couldn’t pronounce her name ‘Snehalata’ correctly)

So what was Shenta to Us.

1. A born teacher : While a lot in my family have narrated stories about her life as a teacher , she remained a teacher till her last breath. When I got married , my mother was extremely worried about my cooking skills and had alerted Shenta about this. Without being fussy about it, she assured my mother that she would teach me everything and she did so, using all her patience . That also included giving me a pat on the back when I did great and a smack when I faltered. Her only message to me was that in an era when we can afford to have cooks, you still need to be indpenedent, know your stuff and be self reliant.
2. An ambitious lady : During my interactions with her, she always harboured ambitions for each one of us including herself. She kept a tab on our annual incentives and promotions at work and whenever we got accolades at work , she made it viral in her very own ways, so much so forth that sometimes we had to put a control on her marketing efforts. She was dissapointed when I had to quit my job and was happy at the same time when I decided to start learning again. She was extremely ambitious about Ananya too and infact taught her Hindi till the last breath. In her good old days , when she was part of a bhajan mandal at an instutution , I remember her memorising those bhajans at home again and again since she had a reherseal the next day.
3. Never say Never : In so many years since the time , she had to undergo multiple and painful hospitalisations , never ever did she lose hope or was pessimistic about any condition of hers. Everytime she came home discharged from the hospital , she’d want to get back to her routine or atleast try to get back on her feet. Even during the highs and lows in our life, she was like a glimmer of postivity around us. I still rememeber her saying “One should never lose faith in The Almighty and always keep hope. Crying doesn’t solve any problems. Tears are always a hindrance to your psoitivity.”
4. A True Leader : There are so many more qualities that could be listed , for instance, she always beleived in maintaining relationships , not just with immediate family , but also with her extended family and her well wishers. That’s exactly why we always had her relatives , well wishers, friends coming over to meet her , greet her and she always found occassions to call them over. Most of all , she always led her team from the front. And ensured all of us fell in line 

A month after a demise and we still continue to feel her presence in the house. We still remember the funny conversations she always had with her children and her grandchildren that make us laugh. The enthusiasm , the aura , the halo , the smacking , the patting will continue to be part of our lives no matter what.

For me , Shenta is officially now our Senior Enthu Cutlet………………

Unleash Those Dragons Within

As everyone celebrates and basks in the glory of the International Women's Day today, I will try and delve into an significant aspect of our life that keeps hovering into our very own sub-conscience all the time. I have experienced, I do experience these all the time and my only effort is to keep facing them and letting them know that I will always be prepared to fight whenever need be.

Every morning , as soon as you wake up , your mind runs you through a multiple array of tasks you ought to accomplish . Most of the times ,it also throws across those Dragons that I call The Known and the Possibilty of the Unknown Fears .Ofcourse their gravity and the frequency depends on the nature of the challenges that each one faces in their life. And while each one of us is absolutely aware of those fears within us , we choose to bury them deep inside or push them aside into one corner of our mind so as to avoid them. I did that and do that like each one of you all the time. And as and when the degree of challenges increased , the frequency of fears increased and with them increased ways and means to avoid them . There were various superstitions or relative facts that I thought would keep those fears at bay. However these antics only brought more fears and more superstitious beliefs back into my life. It looked as if they were multiplying instead of getting subtracted . The most dangerous Dragon being The Fear of the Unknown. The thought that there is a possibilty of  some challenge that will crop up somewhere in the near future that I will not be able to tackle was My Fear of the Unknown (in simple words). It was loaded with prejudices and engulfed with layers of emotions and negativity.

Gradually I realised that these dragons brought out the worst in me and I wasn't very pleased with that ME. Thus one day , and trust me it just dawns and strikes one day, I decided to face the Dragons. It is no rocket science and all you need to do is Stop being in Denial, Understand those Fears, Converse with them, Ride with them and finally Accept them . Once you follow these, they gradually begin to diminish from within. It is not a one time process and you need to revisit and do this again and again. Once you get your hands on it, there's no contentment as fulfilling as this.

International Women's Day today will serve a good cause for You to start unleashing those Dragons and bid them farewell. Because As Napolean Bonapart puts it " The only conquests that are permanent and leave no regrets are our conquests over ourselves."

Our Multifaceted Bro-Dada

"We need to meet Yogesh and Pallavi today evening . Try and wrap your work early.I will pick you." This was an early morning conversation Nimish and I had (ofcourse in Marathi) few days after we had decided to get married . While I had met almost everyone from his family, I was yet to meet his brother and his wife. While they were changing homes from Bangalore to Pune, they were supposed to be in Mumbai for sometime and therefore they decided to meet. All this while I had heard so many things about them from my to be -MIL and Nimish, that I was extremely keen to meet them. Most of the times in such cases , you tend to make a mental profile of people whom are curious to meet , especially when they will be your future in laws.

And many of such times, you go worng with such profiles . However I have to admit , I was bang on with my profiles that I had created for Yogesh and Pallavi. Infact they were much more warm than I actually thought. In such cases where one can easily try to be powerful or even rag , they made comfortable from the 1st minute that we met. And I as I got to know them gradually, I began to experience various facets or dimensions of Yogesh's personality. He was an aggressive corporate honcho who took his work damn seriously , he was a husband totally in love in with his wife as if they were just married , even after 7-8 years of marriage, he was a father who pampered his daughter silly but also ensured she obeyed everyone in the house, he was a doting son totally in control of what was happening in his parent's life inspite of living in a different city and he was less of a brother and more of friend to his siblings , whose chemistry I had never seen before. And here I was adding another relationship dimension to his personality. We hit off so well that in no time , I started tying him Rakhi and taking blessings on Bhau- Bheej. Our realtion graduated from him being my brother-in law to Brother and thus became my Bro- Dada.

One of the aspects of Yogesh's multifaceted personality that I love he is extremely honest about certain pinciples and values that he follows and he doesn't compromise on them in whatever circumstances. Also those who don't know him personally should know that he is a great orator, so much that he can actually inspire and also infleunce people to move in the right direction. He has a bag full of interesting and valuable real life stories and incidents to narrate which I am sure , he must be using in his coaching sessions.

Today when he crosses over his mid-century in life , he has a wide experience to share and has been an excellent role model to all of us. May this journey bring new successes , warm memories, loving experiences and a long healthy life.

Onwards and Upwards only Yogesh .

Happy Happy Happiest Birthday Dada